Somewhere in the planning, most
bride-to-be’s, to some degree or another will go into emotional
overload. This can include anything from crying every 20 minutes
to screeching at the top of her lungs for no apparent reason.
The upshot--completely normal.
Next to buying your first home (and
other life-altering events), your wedding day is one of the single
most stressful events in your life. The extremely calm and put
together bride-to-be’s are the ones that scare me. Underneath
that calm exterior is likely a bride ready to blow. No, the bride
who is starting to come unglued is the one I trust….this
is expected.
There are no surefire methods to
stop this emotional train from jumping the tracks, but you can
try to soften the crash. Many brides also work or go to school
(or God forbid, go to school AND work) and the strain and pressure
of trying to keep up with her job and/or her studies AND trying
to plan the most important day in her life will eventually take
an emotional toll. Some tips for trying to slow down this speeding
train are as follows:
If you can
afford it, hire a Wedding Coordinator or Consultant.
These people are awesome. Some misconceptions
of wedding coordinators is that they do ALL the wedding planning
and take over. This isn’t true of most of them. To make
sure you get someone who will work WITH you, interview a couple
or ask other brides for their opinions. Wedding Coordinators should
offer suggestions and do a great deal of the comparison shopping
for you. Most established coordinators have a stable list of vendors
and/or suppliers who offer them discounts for using their services--usually
substantial savings that he/she can pass on to you. Most coordinators
are worth every dime and well worth the peace of mind for the
bride who is so busy she can’t plan her own wedding.
If you can’t
afford a Coordinator, DELEGATE.
Rally friends, family and anyone else who would
be willing to help you out. Friends can check out reception halls,
bridesmaid dresses, catering suppliers, and lots of other bridal
necessities and weed out the riffraff. It’s like having
a lot of wedding coordinators for free. Once they have done a
lot of the work of narrowing your choices, it will make it easier
on you to make final decisions.
Surf the Web!
If you have access to the Internet, you could surf there for HOURS
finding a lot of the things you need. There are literally hundreds
of bridal sites. One of the larger perks is that most suppliers
on-line offer deeper discounts for wedding accessories, invitations
and other needs than buying things at bridal stores or invitation
stores. UW has the largest “on-line wedding mall”
of anyone around and you could buy most of what you need without
ever leaving your chair.
I had a girlfriend, that, toward
the last weeks before her wedding, every gift that arrived sent
her to the floor in tears. Personally, I thought she was nuts,
but I knew that the strain was starting to wear on her. Another
suggestion: have all the wedding gifts and respond cards shipped
to your mother’s, your Maid of Honor’s, anywhere but
your house. Sometimes, just getting the wedding out of your face
for awhile will help you pull yourself together.
Weddings are stressful and you won’t
be able to avoid all of the stress that comes with it. Getting
people to help or hiring a professional will go a long ways towards
relieving some of it. On your wedding day, the only tears that
should be shed are those of joy. This is my wish for your wedding
day.
