Wedding Invitation Etiquette
Wedding invitation etiquette
consists of a set of guidelines which will assist you in the
addressing and handling of your wedding invitations. They are
only guidelines and not hard and fast rules that must be followed.
This is your day and your wedding invitations should reflect
the personality of both the bride and the groom.
In other words, when planning
your wedding use common sense! Don't spend all of your time
fretting over the "correct" way to do everything;
simply try and think through the decisions you make and how
they will effect your guest. The invitation though extremely
important is not worth screwing up your relationship with your
future-in-laws.
In regards to your wedding
invitations, you want to give your guest all of the information
they need to attend your wedding in the manner you desire. You
want to convey items such as dress code and the inclusion or
not of children in a manner that is both informative and respectful,
not offensive. With today's changing families, you may have
a question about including or not including stepparents or both
sets of parents in your wedding invitation wording.
Below are a few of the most
common questions that I am asked.
1. When
do I include a separate invitation to the reception?
When the ceremony and reception are being held at different
locations you may want to enclose a reception card with your
wedding invitation. The reception card is provided with the
envelope and will give specific information such as location
and the time of the reception. Also, if the guest list for the
ceremony is larger than that for the reception, you will want
to enclose a reception card only for those guests who are invited
to both the wedding and the reception.
2. How
should I properly address the envelope to guest with children?
It is not proper wedding invitation etiquette to address envelopes
as Mr. and Mrs. Harold Greene and Family. Children over the
age of eighteen or living away from home should receive their
own invitation. If you do not wish to send each child under
the age of eighteen a separate invitation, you may write, Miss
Bethany Greene under the parent's name. On the inner envelope
you can simply write each child's name underneath the parent's
name. If you do not want children to be invited to the wedding,
do not put their names on the invitation. Any parents receiving
an invitation addressed strictly to them and not including their
children's name should understand and respect your wishes.
3. Addressing
the inner envelope to a close relative.
When addressing the inner envelope of your wedding invitation
to relatives, who are very dear to you, feel free to use the
name you have always called them by such as "Aunt Debbie
and Uncle Bobby" or "Grandpa." Even though you
may be planning an elegant affair, you still want to display
your endearment to those closest to you.
4. How
far in advance of the date are invitations mailed to the guests?
Generally, the rule is to mail your invitation six to eight
weeks before the wedding date. However, if you are inviting
many guests who live out-of-state or are planning your wedding
at a holiday season, such as Christmas, you may want to mail
them out a few weeks sooner. This extra time will ensure that
your guest have plenty of time to arrange their travel schedules.
Now that many airlines and travel agencies offer specials to
those booking travel arrangements in advance, you might consider
sending a "save the date" announcement to your out
of state guests and provide them with the wedding date and hotel
information three months or more prior to the wedding.
5. What
should be the date on the response set for the RSVP?
Generally, you should request that the guests let you know whether
they plan on attending the events two to three weeks prior to
the event. You will need that time to plan seating arrangements,
make up place cards and give the reception call a realistic
head count.
6. How
do I let my guest know that the reception is "black tie"?
In the past, most guests understood that a formal event after
six o'clock required the guest to wear formal attire. However,
today standards are somewhat more relaxed and you may need to
specify "Black tie" on your invitations if your want
your guest to dress accordingly. We suggest that you place the
words "Black tie" or "Black tie preferred"
in the lower right-hand corner of your wedding or reception
invitation. Only use the phrase "Black Tie Optional"
if you want to give your guest the option of formal attire or
dressy casual. I have seen some invitations with "Black
tie invited", that seems to be a little snotty in my humble
opinion.
